There is so much movement in this family, sometimes it’s hard to just sit and collect my thoughts.
Over the weekend, we planted a veggie & herb garden. This is our third garden. Each time, we learn a little more and harvest a little more. It’s a lot of work and sometimes it’s gross (squishing creepy crawlies comes to mind), but there’s value in it. It gives me an appreciation for the produce at the farmer’s market. It teaches Mikey about food, plants & nature. It’s something that John and I can do together. And, if we’re lucky, there’s something to harvest, too.
John’s father yields large amounts of peppers and tomatoes every summer, so we crossed those off our list. We planted tomatillos, zucchini, grape tomatoes (the seedlings were a gift from a neighbor), basil, cilantro, oregano, chives & thyme. Our last garden was plagued by aphids so we also planted marigolds. The hope being that they will attract some ladybugs to feast upon the scourge. I gave the garden up to the aphids at the end of last season because I was working so hard on changing my parenting style. While I’m nowhere near perfect, more of it is coming as second nature… leaving more time for actual nature!
Today the boys and I are all alone. John is away on business. He left before we woke up and will arrive after the boys are in bed. Mornings when John is gone are always tough on Mikey. Much like the garden, we learn a little more every time. This time around, John was sure to tell Mikey that he wouldn’t be here when Mikey woke up. Mikey still cried when I got him out of bed, but after I reminded him of what his daddy told him, he got over it pretty quickly. Still, he and I can both tell that something is awry. He had a meltdown and an accident at Tiny Treks today. He had several meltdowns at home. It’s been especially easy for me to remain patient with him today because I miss his daddy, too. Neither Mikey nor I are at our best without John’s loving presence.
Other than that, life has been wonderfully routine. I hate to admit it but I had a headache yesterday morning and I yelled at Mikey. I can’t even remember what the infraction was. I’m proud to say that I immediately realized I was taking out my hurting head on someone smaller than me and dropped to the floor and apologized. Mikey obviously forgave me because he cuddled me for a long time after that. I don’t expect to get everything right but I’m willing to admit when I’ve done wrong. I hope that this will eventually be a positive example for him, striving to be better, screwing up along the way, admitting failure and growing from it. I suppose only time will tell.